Set BIG Goals That Make You Nervous

Hi, this is Lisa Nichols, and welcome back to the Lisa Nichols Show, the place where we come, you come, I come, to get the tools that we want to really take our life to the next level, to live our dreams.

I love the things you say, I love the fact that we’re in this conversation together.

Angie, you said, you said Lisa, it’s my first time here, and thank you for always breaking it down to bite-sized digestible pieces. You said, quote unquote, I’m starting by making my by-when dates. Yes, Angie, when you have a goal, and you give it a by-when date, all of a sudden it gets real. And a by-when date isn’t some day in 2019, some day in 2020, it is June 30th, 2018. And I love to add a little extra juice on it.

Is it Pacific Standard Time? 9:00PM Eastern Standard Time, will it be done? When you do that, it becomes amazing, and all of a sudden you’re running towards something.

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Remember, Angie, give yourself some milestones and some daily action steps to get to that date that you have a by-when on. And when you do that, all things change. And I love what Takesha said. You said, quote unquote, I’m too committed to the familiar discomfort. Wasn’t that particular episode great? When you learn, hold on, I’ve become too committed to a familiar discomfort, versus becoming acquainted with an unfamiliar new possibility.

So you said, quote unquote, I need to get committed to a more unfamiliar possibility. I love it, when you have that kind of a-ha, Takesha, things begin to happen.

That’s when you begin to welcome in the unknown, ’cause most of our poor habits, our procrastination, our limited thinking, they’re the things that we’re familiar with. When you go to the unfamiliar, all of a sudden there’s a new possibility that chases it in.

So I’m so excited when you guys comment. I love when you comment, that’s how we stay connected. So keep on writing. (inspirational electronic music) You know, I have so many students who step onto our virtual campus. And, they’re high achievers. And because they’re high achievers, they also realize that they hunted a whole lot more when they had less, when they needed to stabilize their life or they needed to get to a particular goal just to allow themselves to breathe.

And in the last five years, some 10 years, some 15 years, some longer, they’ve gotten to a place of complacency. So I get asked the question a lot: how do I jumpstart again, when I’ve been complacent? You know, I found that I had to ask myself this question as well, for so many years. I was working hard to feed Jaylani.

I was working hard to give him an equal chance. I had this goal that by the time he was 18, I would’ve transformed our lives, and I ran hard for it, and I worked hard for it. By the time he was 18, our lives were completely transformed and barely recognizable. And I found that I had slowed down a bit. Still running, but running at about 70%. And the challenge that you have to watch out for, is that your 70% could be someone else’s 115%, because you are such a game-changer. So you can impress a lot of people never playing full-out, and you can look up and a year has passed, three years has passed, five years have passed, and you haven’t played full-out for a while because you already achieved a lot by some people’s standards.

But there’s still so much more that you can do. I wanna coach you in this way: dream a dream, or set a goal that’s big enough to make you get nervous. Often times, if you’re not setting a goal that’s beyond three years out in front of you, there’s not enough to run for. So I want you to look at your goals. Can you achieve them in a year, two years? I want you to set a goal for three years, set a goal for five years, and set a goal for 10 years. Yes, I said 10 years. When I did this phenomenal program called Life Book, they had me set 10-year goals, and I was so uncomfortable. I sat there silent for a moment. I hadn’t thought 10 years out about my life, but if you go out far enough, 10, five, three, then all of a sudden you’re playing for something so much bigger.

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And then set a goal that makes your knees knock and your teeth chatter a bit. If you know how to get to your goal, you’re not dreaming big enough. Now the goal also has to be realistic, so it has to be realistic, something you can do. If you’re currently making 80,000, then your goal in three years isn’t to make 500,000 unless you have a path that’s viable to get you there, that’s real.

The thing that’s really important to remember about a goal is that if you set lofty goals that you will never hit because they’re not realistic in the first place, you have to set realistic goals. It doesn’t mean you’re not capable. It doesn’t mean that you don’t believe in yourself, but realistic goals. If you set a bunch of unrealistic goals and you don’t hit them, every time you don’t hit a goal you lose just a little bit of hope in yourself, a little bit of faith in yourself. And then what happens is you look up five years, 10 years from now, and you’re not dreaming anymore, you’re not setting goals anymore.

You’re afraid to tell anyone. So set a goal that makes your knees knock and your teeth chatter a bit. Set a goal that’s three years out in front of you, set one that’s five years, and set one that’s 10 years. As a matter of fact, set several at all of those timelines. And then hook your caboose to the train of other people who are running as fast as you are. Surround yourself in a community that inspires you to wanna stand on your tippy toes.

They inspire you because they’re doing so much. Now, they believe in values, they believe in faith, they believe in family, but they also believe in running hard, playing hard, and living big, because if you’re the biggest fish in your community, then that’s okay, you just need to get a second community to play inside of as well.

And so if you find yourself going hold on, I’ve become complacent, walk out 15 years and go do I want to look back in 15 years, and this was the best that I did? The answer probably is no. What do you wanna say? What story do you want to tell? What story do you want other people to tell about your life? And even if it’s something casual like piano or Spanish, or Italian, or something you wanna take on, play big, become a student again.

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Often times when we’ve transcended that student space and we’ve gone into teaching, we’ve gone into educating, we’ve gone into management, we’ve gone into leadership, we forget the gift of always being a student. So I invite you to recognize the largest room in the world is the room for more learning. The largest opportunity in the world is the opportunity for more transformation. When you take those on, your life becomes a constant demonstration to everyone that’s watching you.

Remember, this is not a monologue. I am not here to just entertain you. I am your girl, we’re in a dialog together. We’re in a conversation, we’re family. I wanna hear your comments, I wanna hear how you feel. What about sitting back and setting tangible goals or becoming complacent? What was the a-ha for you, or what was the BOL? #BOL, breakthrough out loud. Like, ooh, Lisa, that was straight between my eyes.

I needed to hear that. What did you need to hear? Or, what question or desire did it jar in you? What did it shake-up in you? I wanna hear from you. Please comment below, tell me what happened, ask me a question, give me an example, and then always remember to share this tribe with your friends.

Share it with your family. Subscribe if you haven’t already done so. I wanna be in a long-term relationship with you. We’ve got way too many quickies and quick, shallow relationships happening now. I want a long-term relationship where we get to know each other, and we get to grow together, and I mean that. This is your tribe. I am your sister, and I always will tell you that I believe in you, and I love you.

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